Transformers and Douchebags
So earlier tonight I saw Transformers: Rise of the Fallen. To describe it in a word:
Long.
Which isn’t to say that it was a bad movie, but it was certainly a case of overstimulation. It was practically a full-time job for my eyes watching all of that transforming and merging and shooting and exploding and collapsing. It was almost as difficult as that third Lord of the Rings movie.
With Transformers being one of – if not the – summer blockbuster, I figured I was in for previews of some big upcoming movies. Unfortunately, one of those was – wait for it:
M. Night Shymalan’s
The Last Airbender
…
That pause was for me to compose myself. It failed.
Where the FUCK does this pompous douchebag get off putting his hack name in front of an Avatar movie? As if he had anything to do with its creation. Or maybe he’ll be taking credit for what will inevitably be a complete bastardization of a wonderful franchise?
Michael Bay probably deserves a lot of credit for how he’s modernized the Transformers franchise and made it accessible to a wider audience than us nerds who grew up with the TV series in the 80s. And yet, for all he’s done, this latest movie was not called:
Michael Bay’s
The Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
So how does Manoj – who has been riding the wave from The Sixth Sense (the only film of his that can pass for “good”) for 10 years now – figure he’s entitled to take someone else’s intellectual property and attach his name to it? I mean, at this point, M.Night Shymalan is like King Midas – the revisionist version who touches things and they turn into shit.
For Aang’s sake, did you see The Village? The Happening? Would someone tell this mother fucker to stop making movies?
So putting his name on Avatar: The Last Airbender – which boasts a quality of writing, direction, and overall fantasticness that Shymalan couldn’t manage on his best day – is like taking a dump on a really delicious pizza.
Would you eat a shit pizza? I didn’t think so.
FUCK M. Night Shymalan.
And as for his penchant for surprise endings, the only one I’ll accept is the one where Shymalan himself dies and is unable to complete the movie.
Surprise!
Why don’t you tell me how you really feel chief?
Oh Transformers sucked ass BTW.
You would think so because you hated the first movie. But that’s your fault for holding it up in comparison to the original series and movie. It was never going to hold a candle to that, so you might as well watch it for what it is – an explosion fest with the real voice of Optimus Prime. Think of it as a tribute video.
Thank You for putting into words what I now consider to be a future major movie flop. It just makes me cringe when director’s put their names before another person’s creation. Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko put their hearts and souls into this series.
The animations, the colors, the music; they’re simply to beautiful for words. I’m older now, but watching this show makes me want to be a child again.
I mean, for one, the casting of this movie is absolutely ridiculous. Why is the cast white. I mean, why are half of them Caucasian when it’s plainly clear that it should be an all Asian cast? It’s an Asian themed show, even the characters look Asian and have Asian names. So why are the three main stars of the movie: Aang, Katara and Sokka so pale and translucent? Has Shyamalan lost his mind?
I can’t within all good reason even attempt to humor this movie by watching it. Thank You for bringing this to my attention. You were one of my Subscriptions on YouTube. Go figure I’m deleting some of them and I find your name. =)